Friday, February 3, 2012

The Griswalds do Ground Hog Day

Punxsutawney Rango

Today is Ground Hog Day.  I have always been fond of this particular holiday.  I think it’s because it’s the Underdog of the Holidays.  Aside from Pennsylvania celebrating it and the morning news giving it its 15 seconds of fame, no one really does anything for Ground Hog Day.  I decided my family would lead the way.

So, I guess we could set our alarms on February 2nd and get up as a family and gather around the TV to watch the prediction live…..or we could have our very own prediction!!

Of course, you know which way we went. 

All you really need is a Ground Hog, right?  Well, it just so happens that my daughter has a pet Guinea Pig – close enough!  (His name in real life is Sheriff Rango of the White House ‘aka’ Rango.)

Now, this is what I envisioned the event being like:

The night before, I tuck my boys into their beds and read them a story about Ground Hog Day and Punxsutawney Phil – the famous Ground Hog.  I would outline what would take place the next morning, kiss them on their heads and they would drift off to dreamland, thinking about how awesome I am and that when they have children of their own, they will do this kind of stuff with them all the time and say things like, “Grandma use to do this with me when I was little……”

Then the next morning, I would quietly walk into their rooms and whisper in their little ears, “Boys – it’s time to get up and do our prediction.”  They would bound out of bed, with a smile on their faces and throw on their clothes and actually skip out the door, holding hands.  My hubby would bring out our guinea pig and as he lifted him in the air, a ray of sunshine would peak through the clouds.  Everyone would be giddy with happiness and it would carry my boys all through school today and their teachers would just sit back amazed as my boys stood in front of their class mates and educated everyone on why their childhoods are AWESOME!

Well… is how it actually went down.

I forgot to even tell my boys what we were doing this morning as I yelled at them for the 100th time to go to bed last night.  I forgot myself, until 7:00 this morning as I flew out of bed – late for work.  The idea was for me to get up early and be ready for work by the time my hubby came home from his graveyard shift at 7:20am.  We would do the prediction and then I would leave for work.

So, here I am throwing on clothes – screaming at my boys to wake up and get outside – and even though I was trying to explain what we were doing, I think they thought we were having some kind of air raid.  Of course, ‘D’ says, “Give me 5 more minutes” (Good thing it was not in fact an air raid) and ‘A’ is starting to cry because he is sure that we are having to abandon our house and even though we are taking our Guinea Pig with us – we will be tossing him into the air as we are running down the sidewalk.

When my hubby gets home, the 3 of us are standing out in the front yard.  I’m pretty much ready and ‘D’ is wearing jeans, his coat hanging wide open with no shirt underneath, and house shoes.  ‘A’ is not only completely ready, but trying to pack his belongings in his backpack and sniffling.  (I guess when one of your kids has OCD and suffers from anxiety, you shouldn’t really spring anything like this on him.)

So, the scene is set and my hubby goes and gets Punxsutawney Rango.  I’m still trying to explain to my kids what the hell we are doing.  ‘D’ is ruining the moment by saying, “What!  Oh, no, no, no – I’m tired…and cold.  I don’t think you should throw Rango into the sun and what does his shadow have to do with anything?  So, is the news coming here?  If it’s on TV right now – than when did they come out here and get Rango on TV?  Why didn’t you wake me up for that?  What is P-U-S-S-Y-T-O-N-G-U-E anyway?  (No joke – that is how he was saying ‘Punxsutawney.)  ‘D’ is not a morning person and you can tell that this wonderful experience of his child hood is for the birds.  ‘A’ is clearly disturbed by this wonderful experience of his childhood and is having an anxiety attack as he keeps asking me questions.  “But…we don’t have an actual ground hog.  Can guinea pigs predict weather like the ground hogs do?  Is this the right spot in the yard we are supposed to be at?  The sun is not out yet.  How will we know if he thinks he sees his shadow or not?  I know we can tell if there is a shadow, but how do you we know if he can see it or not?  Is this going to make me late for school?” 

Punxsutawney Rango is traumatized.  He is shaking, staring all crazy-eyed, and whistling – while probably shouting in guinea pig language, “THEY ARE SACRIFICING ME!!! I KNOW IT!!!  THEY ARE GOING TO HOLD ME UP TO THE GODS AND THEN LET THESE TOO BOYS DECIDE WHO GETS THE HEAD AND WHO GETS THE TAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!” – Well, not really the tail; guinea pigs don’t have tails, but you get the idea.

So, we hold up Rango and all of us look down at the sidewalk.  I had printed up these signs for the boys to hold up that would show their prediction.  On one sign said, “Hello Spring!”  The other said, “Six more weeks of winter.”  I get out my camera to snap some pictures and all I get are pictures of my kids having a ‘Ground Hog Day meltdown’.  ‘D’ is embarrassed because he can’t read the signs (I had forgotten that this might happen and should have just put a giant sun on one picture and snow on the other.)  But rather than say, “Mom – I can’t read these signs”, he is taking it out on ‘A’ – who can read them – by calling ‘A’ names and saying how stupid this whole thing is and he can’t believe I woke him up for this!  ‘A’ is really having a dilemma because he still stuck back at the whole, “the suns not even out so how can there be a shadow” thought he had earlier.  He is clearly trying to come up with a right prediction, but is upset because he thinks the whole experiment was flawed from the start.  Hubby is laughing because this is how these events always go. 

So, I decided that the best prediction of the future weather is not done by a Ground Hog or by a Guinea Pig, but by two little boys’ reaction to the whole process in general.  And judging by that – I would say we are definitely in for a SHIT STORM!!!!!!    

1 comment:

  1. lol... Wow. I better go to the hardware store and stock up to be prepared for anything!